Twenty-three years ago I gave up alcohol and drugs and I have often said that the pain of the process is what has kept me from relapse all these years. I simply never wanted to feel that way ever again. There was no detox, treatment or therapy in my early recovery, only AA and the support and love of strangers.

A recent abnormal EKG led to a two day stay in the hospital complete with all the various cardio-pulmonary tests. It was here that I had to confront my last demon addiction–smoking.

Without a doubt this is the most difficult addiction to kick.

I had always said that in order to quit smoking I would have to be put in a restricted environment; away from people. Since there is no smoking in hospitals these days I told the nurse in the emergency room that I was a heavy smoker and that I would be experiencing acute withdrawal within a few hours. She put me on the patch immediately. I was essentially in a restricted environment for the first forty-eight hours. Even though I got a clean bill of health I felt that  the hospital stay had jump-started my recovery from smoking. I don’t know when I’ll get another opportunity like this so what the hell I might as well try one more day.

I started smoking in the days when you could put a quarter in a cigarette machine and get a pack of Lucky Strike with two pennies change under the cellophane wrapper. A heavy non-filter smoker for all these years I was amazed to find out that my lungs were clear and that the abnormal EKG was simply an electrical problem in my heart probably caused by early age drug use. But as often happens change occurs when the flame gets high enough under my butt. There is nothing like a week of contemplating your own mortality to turn up the flame.

So it is all coming back to me. All the confusion, anxiety, irritability, anger and the roller coaster ride of those first days weeks and months of my first year in the program. The difference is that I have the experience of long term sobriety to rely on and I know that after enough time passes these feeling too will pass. One of the best things that I have heard over the last two weeks is that the craving will go away whether I smoke or do not smoke. This has kept me on the not smoking side of the equation and the craving does go away.

Thanks to the patch, sunflower seeds, Altoids, Planter’s hot peanuts, cough drops, pretzel sticks, toothpicks and the love and patience of my friends and family I have survived one month without a cigarette. I have done this with the help of a good doctor and the encouragement of everyone who is close to me. Most importantly I have been able to apply the “one day, one hour and sometimes one minute at a time” philosophy that I learned in my program.

At this holiday season it will be good to realize that with God’s help, if I am still successful, I will have given myself another wonderful gift. The only problem that I can envision is that if I keep eating like I have been  I’ll be able to play Santa Claus without the customary pillow under my shirt.

Happy Holidays and may the peace and joy of the season be with you and your loved ones.

The holiday season is upon us and at this time of year most of the nation practices and embraces the spirit that those of us in recovery try to live by all year long. The Thanksgiving holiday is all about thankfulness and gratitude and the Christmas/Chanukah season celebrates joy and light and the spirit of giving. New Year is a time for reflection and introspection and a good time to set short and long term goals.

It is no coincidence that in our program we call November “Gratitude Month”. During November most meetings are about gratitude and we frequently hear people sharing on how grateful they are for their recovery. It is always good to remember that gratitude is an action word and we can best demonstrate our gratitude by helping others.

Our preamble states that our primary purpose is “to stay sober and to help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety”. In our statement on responsibility we say: “I am responsible whenever anyone, anywhere reaches out for help the hand of AA should always be there.” This statement does not limit our help to alcoholics and addicts. Every kind and helpful act is a healing experience for those of us in recovery. The concept of giving expressed during the holidays represents the spiritual nature of the act of giving and gives those of us in recovery a wonderful opportunity to work our program.

It is estimated that active alcoholics/addicts negatively effect twenty people and it is safe to assume that when they enter recovery they are able to positively effect twenty people. We can become myopic in our recovery and feel that our efforts of help should be confined to other alcoholics and addicts. But what if we were to take the principles and spirit of gratitude and giving that this season represents into the world outside of our meeting halls? How many organizations need volunteers? How many people can use our help?

When we take our philosophy of giving to others out into the world great things  happen. Our positive attitude and spiritual focus can only improve the lives of others. This will happen in veteran’s hospitals, nursing homes, child care centers, shelters for abused women, food banks and homeless shelters. In helping others  we help ourselves.

With this in mind, in this issue you will find a list of organizations that need volunteer help. You may know of others. Why not put your gratitude into action and practice the true spirit of this holiday season by sharing your joy with others.