I was taught “patience, tolerance, love and understanding” were founding principles of our program. My sponsor taught me these principles through practical applications at meetings and interactions within the meeting rooms of AA. One of the toughest was tolerance and this is how he opened my eyes to my self-centered lack of tolerance.

When I first came into the program I was very restless and had a difficult time concentrating at meetings. If someone was sharing at a speaker meeting and I was bored or uninterested in their talk I would get up and go for coffee or stand outside and have a cigarette and talk to the guys until the speakers finished their talk. At a regular step meeting that I attended the format was a discussion of the step that included going around the table so that everyone  had an opportunity to share. In fact everyone was expected to share.  There was a member of this group named Dick who had suffered a lot of brain damage from alcohol and who was flat and dull in his affect and his speech patterns. Dick also seemed to have no concept of time. He droned on and on  saying virtually the same things week after week.

After a couple of weeks of squirming around in my seat I came up with a plan. The meeting room was set up in such a way that you could leave the room and go outside and look in the window and see what was going on inside.   For a number of weeks I would get up when it was Dick’s turn to speak and go outside and watch until he was finished with his extensive dull monologue.

My sponsor was vigilant in his attention to my program.  Today I am very grateful for this attention and I realize that I probably would not have been able to stay sober without it but at the time it made me angry. One night at the step meeting he realized what I was doing and he called me on it. I told him that I could not stand the guy or what he shared and that I didn’t have to listen.

He told me something that I will never forget. He told me that some day that Dick may be the only example of the Big Book standing between me and a drink. He explained how he had almost drank once but at the last minute someone in his group ran into him just  before he went in the bar. The person talked to him about recovery and headed off my sponsor’s relapse.

My sponsor explained that some of us are sicker than others but that we are all children of God and that we all shared the common problem and the common solution. Sometimes when others bore us or annoy us at meetings they are unknowingly teaching us “patience, tolerance, love and understanding”. These principles are  the solution for our own ego deflation   and allow  us to get outside of  ourselves long enough to get well.

Recently over twenty years after this lesson I watch as one or two people’s excessive sharing and seemingly pointless storytelling have disrupted the serenity of an entire group. In this area we don’t have to go very far to realize that “some are sicker than others” and that this is often manifested in dual addictions and mental illness. In our program we welcome all who have a desire to stop drinking and therefore must practice tolerance when their well intentioned but sometimes inappropriate sharing is annoying to us. Those of us with time can, when our turn to share arrives, gently steer the meeting back to a discussion of the solution rather than the problem.

I’ve heard it said that “there is a wrench for every nut in AA” and what I believe this to mean that although something you say may mean nothing to me it could be saving the life of the man or women sitting next to me.  Who am I to judge this?

We must be careful not to judge, criticize or complain and realize at times “there but for the grace of God go I”. By judging others or tuning out when some people speak we may be cutting ourselves off from the sunlight of the spirit because our Higher Power frequently speaks to us through others. It is real important to listen to the message and not to judge the messenger.

My sponsor long ago reminded me that  that something  that annoying guy Dick said that night might just save my life the next day.  How could I hear it  by standing outside and watching his lips move through the window?

One of the goals of the twelve step program is for its practitioners to “return to a normal way of life”. Over the years I have heard this phrase debated in meetings and in discussions outside the meeting halls. What does this mean? What is a normal way of life?

The unfortunate fact is that many of us upon entering a Twelve Step program have no experience with “normal”. Our life experience has left us with a sort of “social retardation” where we have never learned even the most elemental rules and behaviors that most people take for granted. It is as if all of our growth and development stopped at the age we were when we picked up up our first drink or drug. I often say that fifteen was a tough age. I know that because I was fifteen for twenty years.

I was recently asked to address my home group’s Newcomer’s Meeting and talk about appropriate behavior at meetings. It occurred to me that with all the years that the many treatment centers in the area have been using our meetings for their evening activity that they would provide at least a minimal introduction to “normal” behavior at meetings. Upon further thought however I realized that it was the responsibility of those of us who have been around the program a while to teach these things to newcomers. God knows that I needed a lot of work when it came to manners inside and outside of meetings. Thank God the teachers were there for me. Why should we pass our responsibility as members of AA off to those who run treatment centers?

Some years ago I had the opportunity to work in a “transitional living” program for homeless teens. The program provided education and training on  very basic life skills. I have always felt that treatment centers while delving into deep psycho-social issues, feeling feelings and finding inner children would be wise to include a component that addressed the basics of finding employment, paying bills, being on time, cleaning up after ourselves and living and working with others.

Over the last year I have spent more time living and working with what we sometimes call “earth people” or “normies”. I amazes me how skillfully they are able to get to work on time, balance checkbooks, buy cars and homes, and essentially take responsibility for their own lives.

In the early days of AA the founders, in their wisdom, appointed non-alcoholics to its board of directors. I have always thought that this was because they didn’t trust themselves with the money. Maybe they just needed someone to show them how to behave at those Board of Directors meetings.

Being a recovering alcoholic/addict is not an excuse for bad behavior. The program is about taking responsibility for our attitudes, actions and behaviors. The key word is responsibility. I guess there can be no argument with the concept that “normal behavior” follows the Golden Rule which simply states “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” We can learn this lesson in meetings, in treatment center’s, halfway houses, churches and in the laboratory of life. Perhaps “normal” simply means taking responsibility for ourselves. What a concept!!

Over the years many people have tried to analyze the 12 Step program and the Twelve Step movement in America. I recently read that Bill Wilson was one of Time Magazine’s most important 100 people of the last century. I think that he knew better than anyone that the real miracle of the program was not so much the fact that chronic alcoholics could learn to stay sober one day at a time but the fact that the alcoholic, self-centered in the extreme could get outside of himself long enough to care about another alcoholic. This self forgetting is the real miracle and the basis on which our program was founded. It is where we connect with God through love.

Bill floundered for a long time until he put this principle into effect when he met  Dr. Bob. By helping Bob he was able to help himself and arrest his disease. As the two continued helping other alcoholics our program grew. Its growth was due to the success of this principle of getting outside of ourselves and helping another. Over the years the program has grown with millions of lives changed for the better all over the world. The principle has been adopted by addicts, gamblers, over-eaters and countless other addiction and behavioral problems.

As the program grew so did the tools of recovery. The Twelve Steps, the Twelve Traditions, the Big Book, many types of meetings, the slogans;  a whole spiritual way of life was laid out for us. I have often said that none of these things hooked me in to AA in the beginning. What did hook me was the simple act of kindness offered to me by a stranger who understood the founding principle that Bill had discovered many years ago. He held out his hand and welcomed me to my first meeting and the next night remembered my name!

There is an unwritten legacy in our program that comes in the form of suggestions not found in our books. One of these suggestions was taught to me early on by an old Boston sponsor. He told me to do three kind acts a day and not tell anyone. This forced me outside of myself and reduced my ego all at the same time. He was a clever old timer.

Over the years I must admit that at times I forget about my old sponsor’s suggestion. But like all good advice that I received it became a part of the foundation of my program. It is now a barometer of my peace of mind. When I practice it I feel great. When I don’t I’m into my “ism”: “I,self,me”. The new year gives me a chance to refresh my program and start doing three a day. Give it a try!

Over the past few years I have watched several good friends with long term sobriety relapse after becoming involved with prescribed medications. Some have returned to the program and others are still out there; one has since died. It is difficult to assess blame in these situations; in fact we try to avoid this kind of thinking in our program. However, this tragic scenario is being repeated time and time again as the influence of the drug companies and their incestuous relationship with the medical profession create an atmosphere where the best medical solution often seems to be to throw medication at our symptoms.

How many times have I been in a doctor’s office and had to wait while a pharmaceutical salesperson, loaded down with samples and other “perks” and gifts for the doctor, was ushered in ahead of a waiting room full of people? This preoccupation with medication makes many doctors unknowing drug dealers providing patients with a quick fix and easy solution that often treats symptoms while not dealing with the real problem. I recently read an article which reported a study in which it was determined that family doctors spend about four and a half minutes with their patients per visit. How often do these visits end with a patient leaving with a hand full of prescriptions?

For this reason many people who have no problem with drugs become unwittingly addicted to prescription medications. This is an especially severe problem among senior citizens to the extent than many of the most prestigious treatment centers now offer treatment for seniors addicted to medication.

This scenario is even more problematic for the recovering addict /alcoholic. Life continues to happen after we become clean and sober and with it pain, illness, operations, surgery and accidents. None of us are immune to the necessity of taking medication either for the treatment of depression or other psychological illnesses or the treatment of pain after and during surgery. How we deal with this necessity may be the difference between successful continued sobriety or a life threatening relapse.

I recently was kayaking on the Fisheating Creek, a wilderness experience replete with snakes, bears, florida panthers and a great deal of alligators. In fact in the dozen years I have lived here and had these types of experiences I have never seen so many active, large (ten feet and larger) alligators up so close; as close as four or five feet at times. In order for me to enjoy the kayaking experience and meet my goal of completing the trip I had to deal with the alligators. Alligators can be dangerous and have been known to kill people.

On my first trip to Florida I was snorkeling when I encountered a school of barracuda. I was so scared at their fearsome appearance I ran out of the water. I didn’t want to go back into the ocean after this experience. The way I dealt with it was by going to the library and getting books on barracuda. I learned how to co-exist in the water without fear. I did the same thing with alligators. I am probably one of the most knowledgeable New Englanders on the dangerous critters of South Florida but I also function in the wilderness with little fear and a healthy respect for its creatures.

In order to take responsibility for our recovery from alcohol and drugs and for our medical or psychiatric treatment it behooves us to become well educated patients and consumers. The more information that we can accumulate, the more questions we ask, the less intimidated we are by those in the medical profession, the more able we are to direct our own treatment. By becoming educated patients, clients and recovering people we will be in the best position to be responsible and safe in our use of medications. We will become less likely to be blind sided by an unmerited trust in well meaning medical professionals.

My own personal experiences both in the wilderness and in the hospital over the last year have led me to a lot of positive information. This information was gained through reading and research, talking with experts and getting second opinions. My outdoor adventures have been relaxing and exciting, enjoyable and rewarding. I have met and shared experiences with great outdoorsmen and environmentalists.

I have also been educated and treated by alternative therapy practitioners for the treatment and management of pain related to surgery and an accident. Chiropractic medicine, acupuncture, traditional chinese medicine, chinese herbal treatments, meditation and massage have all helped me in the management of pain.

Medication for recovering addicts and alcoholics can be dangerous but like the wild critters, with  prudence, respect and information we can make safe and informed decisions regarding their use if we utilize all the re-sources available. Lets educate ourselves to the hazards in our recovery adventure.

When used responsibly, pain medication can relieve human suffering, shorten hospital stays, and reduce health care costs. Yet these medications also carry the potential for abuse, a problem that grew steadily during the 1990s and continues today.

The 2001 National Household Survey on Drug Abuse revealed that 36 million Americans have abused prescription-type drugs — that is, used them at least once in their lifetime for purposes other than treating a medical condition. This includes about 10 million people aged 12 to 25. The survey also reports that the annual number of new users of pain relievers for nonmedical purposes has been increasing since the mid 1980s, from about 400,000 new users to 2 million in 2000.

While these statistics are alarming to the general public they represent a significant relapse mechanism for the thousands of people actively involved in recovery from drug and alcohol addiction. How often do we hear of recovering friends who have relapsed who feel that their involvement with doctor prescribed, legitimately necessary pain or anxiety medication led to the relapse into the use of alcohol or their drug of choice?

The use of prescribed drugs by recovering people is a frequent topic at meetings. It is a confusing and highly emotional issue when discussed. There is a wide divergence of opinion and most people feel very strongly about their position.

The early founders of twelve step recovery were smart enough to realize that recovering people were not doctors, pharmacists or medical experts. They taught that we should get our advice in these matters from medical professionals. Unfortunately the medical profession has a minimum level of understanding of addiction. For this reason it is necessary for people in recovery to take responsibility for their own recovery and let their doctors know that they are addicts. If this fact does not seem to alter or cause a reaction from their doctor it may be time to find one more sensitive to their recovery.

As pharmaceutical drug abuse continues to be a serious problem drug companies have begun to get involved in the development of non-narcotic pain medication. These are readily available but not usually prescribed unless the doctor is aware that his patient is a recovering person.

Another positive development is the advent of pain management programs which are either built into a hospital’s medical program or offered at various treatment centers. In these programs patients are taught the facts about prescription medications, supervised in the taking of their medications and taught other less invasive approaches to the management of pain. A good pain management program generally includes the use of alternative medical techniques which include but are not limited to massage, chiropractic medicine, traditional chinese medicine, acupuncture, herbal treatments and meditation techniques.

The Solution Newspaper generally covers a variety of topics in each issue but we thought that the serious nature of pain management required a more concentrated effort. This is the first time that we have put together an issue which primarily deals with one subject.  We realized  that many of our advertisers deal with pain management in one form or another so we asked several of them to contribute articles on the subject.

Our hope is that the contents of this issue will shine a light on the dangers of prescription drug abuse among recovering people. We hope that the articles on alternative approaches to pain management will be helpful to those who need to deal with this very important issue. As with all of our recovery decisions, dealing with pain is personal and complex. We hope this issue of The Solution  Newspaper will help you make the best possible decisions for your continued successful recovery.

to take my days one day at a time. My sponsor told me that for an alcoholic a holiday was just another day.

I was far away from my family. The many losses brought on by my disease were magnified tenfold at the holiday season, as was the pain of early recovery. The holidays were the true test of my resolve to stay sober that first year. Experience is a great teacher and some of the greatest  lessons in my recovery were learned at that time.

I learned about The Fellowship of AA. By  staying close to the people in my home group outside the meeting halls, I was able to associate with  AA people throughout the holidays. We had Thanksgiving at the home of a newly sober couple. They invited several people who had nowhere to be on that day to their home. We all cooked, watched football, talked program and laughed over “war stories”, our common bond. After dinner we went to a meeting and then back to the house for dessert and more coffee and conversation. When I woke up late Friday morning I was surprised to realize that I had made it through the first of the three holidays sober.

Christmas taught me how to ask for help. As the day approached I used the meetings to express my growing anxiety about being alone on Christmas. As a result a new friend invited me to his home on Christmas Day. He had seven kids, very little money and was newly sober himself. Yet when the gifts were opened that morning there was one with my name on it. I was absorbed into his family and spent the day putting together toys, playing with his kids and of course going to several meetings. The previous year I had spent alone with a case of beer and a TV dinner. By asking for help I was able to experience the unconditional love offered by my friend and his family. Another holiday had come and gone and I still hadn’t had a drink.

New Years Eve taught me about getting outside of myself and helping others. In our area it was customary to have  “alkathons” which were marathon meetings. The meetings were put on by individual groups each hour and offered food and plenty of coffee. My home group signed up for the midnight time slot on New Year’s Eve at Cambridge City Hospital. About ten of us piled into two cars early that evening. We stopped at a nice restaurant for dinner and then took the hour drive to Cambridge.

This inner city meeting was held in a smoke filled cold basement. There were several hundred people there and the speakers were frequently interrupted by the sound of wine bottles dropping on the floor. For many of the active winos the sandwiches and relative warmth of the hall represented the total of food and shelter in their lives. Their presence helped me to “remember when” and filled me with gratitude for my newfound gift of sobriety.

I had made it through the holidays. I had learned about fellowship, how to ask for help and how to get outside of myself and care for others. Were these holidays “just another day” as my sponsor had suggested or were they, in fact, holiday gifts from my Higher Power?

Sitting in the emergency room after a scary episode of chest pains I am prepared for the drill that over 50 million Americans who have no form of medical insurance must endure in order to receive any type of healthcare in this country. The drill consists of walking into an overcrowded emergency room, waiting for hours and finally being seen by a tired and overworked emergency room staff. With good fortune I will be seen, treated and sent home with some type of remedy to the problem that brought me here.

In the Emergency Room today are poor immigrants, senior citizens, welfare moms and babies, homeless folks and young street kids. None of these people have insurance and all find it necessary to come here for healthcare. There are few emergencies here today but all find the E.R. to be the only place to go for care. While I am here today I overhear a case that typifies our country’s failure to provide a comprehensive national health program:

An 18 year old migrant worker from El Salvador is admitted after ignoring stomach pain for six months because of having no money and no place to go for help. Finally the pain drives him to the ER and he is diagnosed, just in time, with kidney failure as a result of pancreatitis. Waiting one  more day may have killed him. I wonder if the corporate giants that lured  him here to work for slave wages feel any responsibility for his care? Does our current administration care more about protecting corporate profits than protecting its citizens?

If it were not for the bigger picture that my program affords me it would be easy to be-come depressed and discouraged about living in a country that cares very little for the welfare of its citizens. As the rich get richer and the current administration spends billions of dollars on an unnecessary war, as the government contractors continue to line their pockets on the misfortune of others; its own people cannot afford the very basics of medical care. While bureaucrats, politicians, doctors, HMO’s, insurance companies and pharmaceutical companies prosper our country is decaying from the inside out. As poverty and its resulting social conditions of ignorance, hunger, addiction, drug abuse, crime and illness increase at an alarming rate our federal government seems less and less interested in the general welfare of its citizenry.

Over the years I have chosen to follow our tradition that says we do not engage in any controversy and I have been satisfied to deal with my concern over our social problems  by trying to shed some hope and light locally. I find that if I try and stay in a spiritual place above the day to day societal problems I am much happier. However it is at times like this when my personal situation forces me into dealing with these issues that my “old hippy” anti-establishment attitudes resurface.

As editor and publisher of a newspaper for recovering people and people on a spiritual path, I try to consciously avoid politically oriented journalism. In fact I am often criticized by some friends for being too “bland”. My own editorial columns almost always deal with sobriety, spirituality and positive messages of hope. In ten years I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve published anything even remotely “political”. This is kind of ironic for someone who developed his political and social roots in the sixties.

The years have moderated my views but it is impossible to ignore the glaring turn for the worse that our country has experienced over the last four years. The time has come for us to take our country back and restore it to the caring, compassionate oasis in the world that it has always been. The very values that those of us in recovery cherish and practice daily are needed at the national level. Instead of having our country’s policies based on the fears and negativity of a leader with his own substance abuse issues, it is time for those of us on the positive side of life, and who know better, to become responsible.

Our motto roughly paraphrased says: “Whenever anyone, anywhere reaches out for help the hand of our fellowship should always be there.” Our country needs help, our hands as responsible members of society need to be.