After two solid months of work, including moving home and business in the month of February and putting out a two month publication in one month in March, I finally caught a break for a few days while my friends at the Boca News were printing the paper. Two of my old friends from New Hampshire recently bought a house in Punta Gorda that was pretty much destroyed by hurricane Charley. They are living in a camper and working on the house. They invited me over. So I went to the bank to take out a loan so that I could afford to fill up the gas tank of the Green Hornet Travelmobile and Mafia Staff Car and I proceeded across the state.

The cement, condo developments, tourists  and traffic jams were quickly behind me as I drove through the sleepy Florida towns of Belle Glades, Clewiston and LaBelle. In a couple of hours I arrived in Punta Gorda just north of Fort Myers and South of Sarasota and just across the bridge from Port Charlotte.

My friends and I had a great reunion but since they were working I was on my own during the daytime hours for two days. I got right into my travelling drill and bought a local map, found an AA clubhouse and took off for places unknown. Over the past two years I have been able to partake in my favorite pastime which is travelling to new places and just sort of poking around and getting a feel for the new areas. The advantage of being in the program makes it possible for me to be always close to new friends yet unmet.

There is a lot of water around Punta Gorda but I am more interested in the Gulf of Mexico where the sun sets over the ocean and you drive west to get to the beach. It’s a little disorienting at first but on the first day I find the Gulf of Mexico west of Port Charlotte on 776 in a little town called Englewood. Englewood has a beautiful public beach that is set up in a convenient way. There is a shell parking lot with a machine that allows you to pay for parking at 50 cents an hour. A short 50 yard walk takes you to the beautiful beach with light colored sand, sand dunes and more seashells than I have ever seen in one place. There are bathrooms, showers, and a beach bum tourist shop and a Circle K across the street. Paradise!! All a man needs for a day at the beach.

Being an East Coast Florida guy I  am trying to get a feel for Florida’s west coast and I really like what I find. The Gulf is tamer with no surf either days and the water is a little murkier, not that crystal clear water of the Atlantic Ocean. But the area has more of an old Florida feel and seems a lot more laid back and relaxed than South Florida. Also I haven’t seen a New York Yankees cap since I got over here.

I have brought my basic “beach kit” to Englewood Beach which consists of a Mexican blanket, a cheap beach chair, a container of Panama Jack SPF 30 sunscreen, my camera, a towel, a long sleeve shirt, a Red Sox cap, a bag of pretzel and cheese Combos, a book by Jimmy Buffet, a pad of paper and a pen and some water. Add to this a canvas bag for shell collecting and I am following the tenets of my old boy scout motto “Be Prepared”.

Two of my favorite pastimes in life are tending a campfire or fireplace fire and beachcombing or looking for beach glass. I think it goes back to some primal DNA component that wants me to be a hunter-gatherer. I haven’t been able to earn living at either but I do partake in these pastimes as often as possible. It always seems to have a calming effect and puts me in that place of serenity that I long for.

There is a line in a song by Sheryl Crow that expresses the idea that “happiness is not having what you want but wanting what you have” As I walk for a couple of miles beachcombing, with my mind at peace, totally in the moment I realize that not only do I want what I have these days but I also have what I want. I am truly blessed with sobriety, good health, a wonderful family, great friends, a beautiful design for living and a loving Higher Power.

I always recommend to my friends that are stressed out that they take a break, get away and stop and smell the roses. We all get so busy and time goes by so fast. Why not try Florida’s west coast for a relaxing change of pace?

I was out to dinner the other night with a friend I have sponsored for many years and he said, “Why don’t you write an article about how the program has changed over the last twenty-five years?” I knew right away what he meant. Recently I have heard many “oldtimers” complain about the “watering down” of our program by the combined influences of treatment centers, pop psychology and television gurus like Dr. Phil and Oprah.

People often complain about the use of our meeting rooms as “baby sitting services” for treatment centers and inexpensive group therapy for those who don’t understand what our meetings are about. While all of the above may be true to some degree or other I still firmly believe that the basic principles and practices of our program have not changed one bit.

I was told early in my sobriety to look for a way in to the program and not for a way out. This meant that if my focus was on the negative aspects of people or the program I could find many reasons to find fault and to leave. By focusing on the positive, and overlooking the defects of others and perceived weaknesses of the group and the program, I would find the true healing power of the program and become successful in learning how to stay sober one day at a time.

When I am looking for AA the way it was when I got sober in 1977 I find it in every single meeting I attend.  It is in the hearts and minds and eyes of the people I see there.

The past several years I have become very interested in AA’s history. I have had the opportunity to study and attend seminars with Dick B., a great AA scholar. I have read with interest AA Comes of Age and Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers. I have had the opportunity to visit Bill Wilson’s birthplace in Vermont and read old AA documents and Bills writings in his library there. All of this has led me to the understanding that the meeting between Bill and Dr. Bob and their subsequent work with AA #3 contain all the principles and the foundation for the Big Book and the Steps. These principles are alive and well today at AA meetings around the world.

The basic principle that I see at every meeting is “one drunk helping another”. The key to Bill’s sobriety was a visit by a fellow drunk and drinking buddy named Ebby who was able to reach Bill with the spiritual solution because Ebby was a drunk like Bill. Bill would never have heard a word if the message was coming from someone who didn’t suffer from the disease of alcoholism. This was the key.

Dr. Bob was set on the course of recovery in the same way when Bill was able to relate to him as one alcoholic to another. As Dr Bob says of Bill, “(he) was a man ..who had been cured by the very means I had been trying to employ, that is to say, the spiritual approach. He gave me information about the subject of alcoholism which was undoubtedly helpful. Of far more importance was the fact that he was the first living human with whom I had ever talked who knew what he was talking about in regard to alcoholism from actual experience. In other words, he talked my language. He knew all the answers and certainly not because he had picked them up in his reading.”

Throughout my own years of active alcoholism many people tried to help me. They approached me with spiritual, intellectual and psychological approaches. The wisdom fell on deaf ears. My friends and family all wished to see me stop drinking and offered to help but they “didn’t understand” and were unable to lead me to sobriety. It was only when I attended my first meeting and a complete stranger who was a fellow alcoholic offered me a welcoming hand that I was able to hear the solution. It was the first time another alcoholic had tried to help me. It was the beginning of a new way of life.

I see the welcoming hand of AA at every meeting. At some meetings there are so many acts of kindness that I begin to take them for granted.

In 1965 a huge throng of Alcoholics at the International Convention stood and recited these words:  “I am responsible. When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of AA always to be there. And for that: I am responsible.”

Forty years later this personal responsibility is alive and well and the hand of AA is still there. It is the hand of kindness, a welcoming hand, extended from one fellow sufferer to another. In every meeting and  at every gathering the healing spirit of our program is carried out just like is was with Bob and Bill. As we hold hands in Toronto, AA is truly alive and well at seventy.

I was recently privileged to be asked to be part of a new group that was being formed. It could not have come at a better time for I had become somewhat burned out with recent events at my old home group and longed for the old fashioned small church basement home group of my early sobriety. I wished to get back to the basics of group membership and group purpose which has become somewhat obscured these days by the “big business” aspects of clubs, foundations and mega-meeting groups.

At our formative meeting with about 16 interested members we met with the church administrator and the pastor. We were warmly welcomed and given a set of guidelines for the  use of their spiritual home. The guidelines were firm, simple, clear and basically outlined for us how to treat their home with respect. We were to be guests in their house after all and this is how we  were expected to act. Really the list was simple common sense and courtesy that we would pay any host or hostess.

There is an old New England saying that a good guest always leaves the woodpile a little higher than he finds it. This played itself out for me in real life when a friend offered me the  use of his mountain cabin for a week and I offered to pay him. He said, “Just leave the woodpile a little higher”. I instantly knew what he meant and chopped a lot of wood that week.

Hopefully we can be good house guests at the church by thinking of their needs, treating their property as if it were our own and doing a little bit more than expected. In short working our program in this relationship.

At our first business meeting we reaffirmed our personal commitment to establishing a real home group intimacy. We decided to have service commitments including a greeter, coffee maker and chairperson for each meeting. Since we have to set up and break down the room we agreed to get to meetings early and stick around afterwards to clean up and talk to newcomers. We have the steps and the traditions displayed and soon will have the slogans and a “But For The Grace Of God” banner. We are registering our group with the G.S.O., will build a prudent reserve and then donate surplus cash according to the AA Pamphlet “Circles of Love and Service”.

Most importantly we will be committed to our primary purpose and the responsibility Pledge.

Since we have a great deal of experience, strength and hope represented in our membership it was a privilege to be asked to write a short reminder of meeting etiquette to be read  before each meeting. After its acceptance by our group conscience the statement reads as follows:

Your Help Is Requested

The ______ Group of  Alcoholics Anony-mous wishes to restore traditional meeting etiquette to its meetings. You can help us to achieve this goal by refraining from side conversations, not engaging in cross-talk, and by  turning off or leaving cell phones outside the meeting hall. When in doubt about meeting courtesy let the Golden Rule be your guide. Re-member always that love and tolerance is our code.

We need to remember that we should apply the same respect and courtesy and good manners that we use when dealing with the church to our meeting and group. This is, after all, our own spiritual home before, during, and after our meetings. We should always treat the  group and its members with respect. We do this by identifying as alcoholics, following meeting formats, sharing our experience strength and hope, putting our hands out to the newcomer and staying in the solution. By so doing we can provide a well stocked spiritual woodpile for the new sick and suffering members for whom we provide the prescription for a truly New Life.

Dave F.

Being asked to speak on the Big Book at my home group I had the opportunity to decide on which was my favorite selection from the book.  I know that this changes probably daily but the selection I chose was on pages 60-63 on the subject of Step Three. I know that I have personally worn out these pages over the years and I think that if I could have four pages to use as a guide for my life it would be these pages.

Over the years Step Three has been my comfort and solace. When-ever life’s day to day problems become overwhelming I remember that I am in God’s hands and that if I am spiritually sound I am turning my life and will over to the care of God on a daily basis. It is when I take back my will and begin to become the director of my own play that I begin to get into trouble.

If there is a problem in my life I look at these few pages and I realize that more times than not my difficulties are of my own making. The phrase that annoys me the most because of its truth is “we invariably find that sometime in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.” This means that anytime I put my will first and go against what I know is right for me, sooner or later down the line I will pay for it. I will pay by discomfort, fear, anxiety and pain.

How many times have I taken the wrong turn when I found myself at the crossroads of doing what was right for me as opposed to what would make me feel good in the moment? We are always confronted with these choices; in the workplace, in relationships and in our friendships. Did I take a job I knew I wouldn’t like for the money? Did I get into a relationship that was quick and easy rather that remaining in one that required work? Did I overlook a close friend to be with others more prominent or important? Am I surprised that people wish to retaliate?

Step Three reminds me that there is a remedy for this self-centered ness and self will run riot and it is: “Established on such a footing we became less and less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs. More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. As we felt new power flow in,  as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His prescense, we began to lose our fear of today tomorrow or the hereafter. We were reborn.”

Realizing that I can only change my own attitudes, actions and behaviors I learn to be responsible for my own life and to take action to change and grow. When the problems in my life are beyond my control I must realize that I am not in charge. This is “the wisdom to know the difference” that we talk about in the serenity prayer. Step Three allows me the acceptance to let go and let God. Be they  financial issues, health issues, relationship issues or family issues, if there is nothing I can do to help the situation I turn them over to my Higher Power.

Our solution : “This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn’t work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom.”

How simple it is!! I turned my alcoholism over to the care of  my higher power and I haven’t had a drink for many years. It works. If it works for my alcoholism why won’t it work in all my daily affairs?. It will!. Simple!!!

Sometimes I think that “AA” should stand for Adolescents Anonymous. With all the talk about the “inner child” these days I like to think of my “inner alcoholic”. There is no doubt that my inner alcoholic is an adolescent. Think about it. Aren’t the symptoms of alcoholism the same as the symptoms of adolescence?

Start with self-centered in the extreme for example. We say that as alcoholics we are self-centered in the extreme, that we have no capacity to care a damn about others, that every waking moment we are consumed with self, that we want what we want when we want it. It is all about us. Ever raise a teenager? We’ve all been one. Does any of this attitude sound familiar?

How about selfish?  We define the alcoholic as selfish; all for me the hell with you. I used to hide bottles of beer under the couch when I had friends over so that when the night was over there would be four or five left for me after they had gone. I used to think that no matter how strong my friendship that most of the people I knew would kill each other over the last beer. How many families are held hostage by the teenager that is not getting his own way? “I want to go to that rave on Saturday night and I won’t stop being a jerk until you let me!!!”

Dishonesty is another of the less than attractive symptoms of alcoholism. I lied so often in my disease that it took several years of sobriety to even begin to recognize the truth of my life. I had to revise the bull stories to closer resemble reality. When I broke a collarbone falling in the street I told everyone that it was broken by a nightstick in a fight with the police. Adolescents are lying machines much like alcoholics; when their lips are moving they are lying .This is probably not a bad thing. If their parents knew what was really going on they would need electroshock therapy to stay calm.

We say that alcoholics suffer from doubts, fears and insecurities. Wow… this is almost a definition of adolescence. As an active alcoholic I often felt that I was not good enough, smart enough, slick enough. I didn’t fit in. I felt alone in a crowd. I was afraid to succeed and afraid to fail. I wanted everyone to like me but was afraid they didn’t. I would do just about anything to fit in. I don’t even have to elaborate on this one. It is a description of the teen age years.

When I speak I often share about an experience that occurred when I was fifteen and one line that always gets a laugh is, “Fifteen is a difficult age, I know this because I was fifteen for seventeen years.” I don’t think this is an exaggeration. I truly believe that our growth and development as normal human being ends when we pick up our first drink. If this is at the age of fifteen we remain fifteen until we decide to get sober.

The good news for most adolescents is that as time goes by they grow out of the disease of adolescence. This is purely a function of normal growth and development and a function of getting older, or better said: growing up. It happens as a process of life without the necessity of a program of recovery.

The key to successful recovery from the disease of alcoholism much like adolescence is that we need to grow up. It wasn’t until I put the toys away, changed my playgrounds and playmates and began the process of growth that I could become a mature and responsible member of Alcoholics Anonymous. Once I had become grown up in my program I was surprised to find out hat I was no longer a fifteen year old and I had become not only a grown up alcoholic but also a grown up human being.

It recently occurred to me that  many newcomers in our program seem to feel that AA is just another group therapy session. With so many people coming into the program straight from treatment where group therapy is a staple of the therapist tool box, most newcomers are not prepared or taught to understand the difference between what in the field is referred to as “talk therapy” and what we refer to as discussion meetings. In group therapy people talk about the intimate details of their lives, their innermost feelings and problems. They share this information for the benefit of themselves, the group and the facilitator of the group. The focus is on the self, one’s own problems and difficulties.

In AA the focus is on the solution to our common problem which is alcoholism. We have developed a rich tradition of language which is not psychological but rather spiritual in nature. We share our experience, strength and hope with each other in order to solve our common problem.When we have personal details we want to share we take them to our sponsors who suggest solutions using the tools, literature, experience and language of our program. We go to discussion meetings to hear the solution not the problem. We are all very familiar with the problem,      its what got us to the program. What we need to hear about is the solution.

You can usually tell during discussion meetings who has a sponsor and who doesn’t. People that don’t have sponsors often share what a friend calls “TMI” or too much information. It makes you want to say “That’s way more than I need to know.” Our individual problems, situations and circumstances are important to us and it is only human nature to want to talk them out but I was taught to keep the details with my sponsor rather than a room full of people.

My sponsor explained that when I brought my problems to him he was aware of their context in my life. He had heard my fifth step, he knew my character defects he knew my life story and history. He was the one individual with all the information. By taking these details to a large group of people and waiting for their feedback I was only shopping for the opinion that I wanted to hear. Also I might hear fifteen different solutions and become more confused.

My sponsor taught me to bring my daily problems to him. He would often do what I called AA diagnostics. He would listen to the details and then make a suggestion such as read step three or say the seventh step prayer every day, or help a newcomer or go to more meetings.

Often he would suggest a topic for me to take to my next discussion meeting. How many times did he suggest  the subjects of acceptance, tolerance, patience, step three, or step six for me to take to my next meeting?

In those meetings people spoke the language of AA and used the spiritual concepts and tools of the program. They shared their collective experience strength and hope and taught me how to apply these spiritual principles in my life. Principles which solved my alcoholism problem and eventually solved almost every other problem that I applied them to.

We can all be more vigilant in terms of our individual responsibility to the fellowship by seeing that our discussions meetings don’t become “whining and complaining” sessions and instead focus on the solution.

What have we learned about recovery since the sixties? I think we have learned that 12 step programs work. We have learned that there are so many addicts and alcoholics that NA and AA combined could not have begin to handle all those whose new awareness of their problem needs to be addressed.  In my lifetime the words “alcoholic” and “addict” have become less negative. We are perceived as people with a treatable disease rather than low life reprobates. The new awareness through the seventies, eighties and nineties has been due to education. So we know that education works.

Hence the advent of treatment centers, half way houses and sober living environments. The combination of the best medical, psychological, clinical and spiritual information in treatment has created  a wide ranging industry devoted to education and recovery. Hundreds of thousands of Americans have been given the opportunity to spend  quality time developing a foundation for recovery in treatment centers.. These centers have become the launching pad for thousands of individuals who have been wise enough to follow-up  their treatment with daily adherence to a12 step program.

We have learned that treatment and 12 step programs provide the best possible prognosis for recovery for sick and suffering alcoholics and addicts. It it widely known that individuals who leave treatment and immediately involve themselves in a 12 step program have a much better chance of maintaining sobriety. We have learned that people coming out of treatment, in early recovery, do better in a structured sober living environment than living on their own.

We have learned that treatment  can be costly. That it is difficult for the indigent, low bottom, poor and hungry addict and alcoholic to receive treatment unless they are mentally ill. We have learned that there is a tremendous need for government subsidized treatment programs for the poor and the more than 25% of all Americans who do not have health insurance. So we have learned that the solution is education, treatment, 12 step program attendance and sober living environments.

What we haven’t learned is that the war on drugs is a failure. That locking up pot smokers is an expensive, jail and court clogging joke on nature and our society.  By spending the money we spend on the war on drugs and on locking up minor drug offenders on education and treatment, all Americans would have the option of the treatment, 12 step, sober living solution.

As members of 12 step fellowships we are encouraged, (or actually our organization is encouraged) not to engage in controversy. But as the responsible members of society we have become as a result of our recovery it is our responsibility to speak out on policies that are literally killing our friends and fellow sufferers. Instead of a “war on drugs” we should start our own “war on institutional ignorance” and begin to educate our leaders on the true nature of addiction and recovery. After all we are the experts on this subject. Let us think of positive ways to pass this message on to our national leaders.

It is generally agreed that the best approach to the treatment of addiction is a mind, body, spirit approach. The treatment of the whole person has become in vogue in recent years but  in fact this idea is as old as the Greek and Ro-man cultures as well as being the basis of oriental healing.

Most substance abuse treatment focuses on the mind and body. People go to detox and then enter a clinically based treatment program where they deal with a variety of mental health issues and substance abuse recovery information. Most often clients are exposed in treatment to the 12 step model. They are given a copy of the Big Book and taken to meetings in the evening. The nature of treatment is usually clinical and always time limited. Most often, by necessity, it is impossible to spend a lot of treatment time on the long term solution of the twelve step model.

Twelve step recovery is spiritually based. It addresses the third component of the mind, body spirit continuum. The most successful prescription for long term recovery is the combination of excellent treatment, good therapy and active involvement in a twelve step program.

Since the long term solution to addiction is a spiritual one it seems logical that people who accept the concept of the need for family counseling, trauma counseling, substance abuse counseling, financial counseling, physical counseling would find it important to receive spiritual counseling. Yet this is probably the least utilized of the many forms of counseling available today.

In the past the people who provided the best advice and healing information were people who were themselves recovering from addiction. Most treatment centers and early half-way houses were run by recovering alcoholics and addicts who were in fact lay therapists. By sharing their experience, strength and hope with  the clients they were able to establish a rapport that aided in the transmission of the spiritual message. In South Florida, the recovery center of America, we are fortunate to have many long term veterans of twelve step recovery. Most of these men and women posses valuable experience and knowledge of a spiritual nature.

In the past twenty-five years addiction counseling has been relegated, by the regulation of corporations and state and federal government, to people who have degrees in psychology or social work and certification through the beaurocracy of state governments. What has happened to many of the old timers working in the field is that they have been regulated out of working with alcoholics and addicts. An old friend Ron Martin used to say that the day would come when alcoholics and addicts wouldn’t be allowed near recovering addicts and alcoholics. It is truly a shame that his prediction has almost come true.

For nearly ten years now The Solution Newspaper has been the voice of the recovering community in South Florida. It has always been the editorial policy of this publication to keep the emphasis on the spiritual component of recovery. The publication has been directed towards people who have found the 12 step philosophy to be beneficial to their lives. We work hand and hand with our brothers and sisters who are fighting the battle against addiction in the trenches of treatment centers and half-way houses, individual and group counseling and holistic modalities.

We truly believe that there is a solution and that this solution consists of the selection of the very best in treatment, therapy and the spiritual philosophy of twelve step recovery. We wish to leave the clinical to the clinicians, the medical to the doctors and the religious to the priests, ministers, rabbis and other religious teachers. It is our firm belief however that the best people to teach and counsel on the spiritual solution of twelve step recovery are those with many years of proven success in recovery using the tools of the twelve steps and the textbook of the Big Book of A.A.

We also firmly believe that there is a need for strong education about spirituality and how it can be interpreted and incorporated in a successful recovery program. Who better to instruct and counsel than those with years of study, intensive work with others and the experience of the pain of active addiction? It is time to include those who without degrees or certification can augment treatment by teaching sprirituality from personal experience.

On my recent trip to Bill Wilson’s house in East Dorset, Vermont, I had the opportunity to share experiences with AA’s from around the country. Over the last ten years I have believed that the tendency in South Florida for some meetings to resemble group therapy more than meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous, was due to the large number of treatment centers and newcomers in our area. It appears however, that this is a general phenomenon. I have always felt that we cannot blame treatment or the newcomers for this. It is the responsibility of those of us with time to educate the novices in our program. Unfortunately it seems that many old timers are getting angry and leaving the program or starting private meetings in their homes. These options do nothing to preserve the program as it was given to us. Drop-ping out or splitting off from AA deprive the newcomer of the basic message of AA. Also working our program consists of giving it away. This cannot be done if we leave or re-group in our homes and give the message to only those who we “invite” to join us.

Those who are left can chose to go along with the “anything goes” attitude or speak up at meetings and become accused of being an “AA Nazi” or a “Big Book Thumper” or even worse of hurting people’s feelings and running them out of AA. At what point does “Live and Let Live” become apathy? An apathy which allows the message that only God can relieve our alcoholism to become obscured by the self-centered attitude that one’s own personal problems du  jour become more important than a discussion of the solution as expressed in The Big Book, the 12 and 12 and other AA literature.

I am not opposed in any way shape or form to good treatment and therapy. I myself am a product of good therapy and have worked in a variety of treatment modalities over the years. My ability to avail myself of good therapy was due to a large extent to my recovery in the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. It always suprises me that with the unusually large selection of inpatient and out-patient  treatment programs and excellent therapists in South Florida people insist on using Twelve Step meetings for this purpose.

Let us leave therapy to the therapists and keep our meetings focused on the language of the heart, the solution, recovery through finding God, cleaning house and helping others. Let us continue to teach the newcomers the basics of our program and gently lead them to the difference between meetings and group therapy. This can be accomplished in a kind  way. Also we can continue to take the AA program to therapists and administrators in hospitals, detoxes and treatment centers. Not only as groups taking meetings in but as service people working within the Bridging The Gap, Insti-tution and Public Information service structure of our program.

Also in our own program and groups there are some steps that we can take without resorting to leaving the program or starting “invitation only” groups. First we can attend, start groups and support literature based meetings. By this we mean meetings that are specific in format and focus that use AA literature as a jumping off point for discussion. Secondly we can become active in service by joining, be-coming involved with, or starting meetings that take the AA message to jails, missions, mental hospitals, detoxes, treatment centers and halfway houses.

In South Florida I often hear that old fashioned twelve step work has been taken over by the treatment communities and that there is little opportunity to do basic “twelve step calls”. I think however, that this may be for some a convenient excuse not to work with newcomers. Every month I hear pleas for help from groups, meeting halls and Intergroup for people to work the phone, join the speakers list, and be available as temporary sponsors at nearby institutions. The work is there if we look for it. Remember our founders had to approach hospitals and institutions for prospects. In this day and age it is still possible to give our name and number to friends, co-workers, ministers and doctors to serve as a contact for people seeking help.

By doing this we can truly become part of the solution instead part of the problem. In our active addiction we made a career out of running away when things didn’t go our way. By digging in and sticking with our program, teaching new members our history, traditions and meeting formats we can insure that future sick and suffering alcoholics can find the spirit of love and service that we found when we arrived. Preserving our primary purpose to stay sober and help other alcoholics acheive sobriety can be accomplished harmoniously with old timers and newcomers sharing the benefits of this essential two way communication line.

September 8, 2002 is my 25th anniversary in the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. Unaccustomed to making a big deal about length of sobriety I realized that I have probably earned the right to say at meeting that “I have been around for a few 24 hours”. Also I may be considered among the ranks of “old timers” although a fellow white haired member of my Men’s Group reminded me that the only thing you have to do to become an old timer is to not drink and not die. It has been a wonderful journey and I look forward to another twenty-five, one day at a time.

I am full of recollections, memories and thoughts about people that have helped me along the way. Some of the characters include my two first sponsors who took me on in tandem, realizing that I needed all the help I could get. Frank was a Big Book pounding circuit speaker who made you sit up in your seat and listen when he spoke. He also made you squirm a little as he outlined the “musts” for successful recovery. Tom was a softer and gentler former wino whose sense of humor and quiet spirituality impressed me. Between the two I was carried and tough loved thought he first crucial year and a half of sobriety.

I think also of Tom, my first AA “buddy”. We did meetings together every night for several years became good friends and spent a lot of time together outside of meetings, his family and mine getting along and having fun together. Tom didn’t stay sober but I wouldn’t be writing this column were it not for him.

There were people whose courage in dealing with life’s problems sober made me feel silly about wanting to drink over small things. There was Jimmy Mac who found his son dead in the woods after the snow left in the spring. His son had died from sniffing gasoline. Jimmy didn’t drink was held together by the love of his group and the power of the program and the power behind the program.

There was a woman in Lowell, Massachusetts who had lost her kids in a fire while she had left them alone to go to a meeting.  She did not drink over it and was supported in love by her group members.

On another occasion I was approached by a friend and asked if I could take a guy in a wheelchair to meetings since I had a van. I agreed and was to meet one of the most powerful people I have ever met. He called himself “4:15 Pete” because he would always identify with the time and date of his last drink. Pete was several years sober when he took in a newly sober young man as a roommate. One night the man came home drunk and beat Pete on the head with a cast iron frying pan while Pete was sleeping. Pete was pronounced dead at the local E.R. but was revived and despite severe brain damage slowly improved. When I wheeled him in to his first meeting back it was a moment I will never forget. Pete never picked up a drink.

I could not talk about my sobriety without mentioning my good friend Fred. About six years ago some friends and I started the Downtown Delray Group with the idea of keeping an AA presence downtown after Central House moved north. We hoped to be there for people without transportation living in the many sober living places downtown. Fred was one of them. He rode a bike to meetings and attended every day. As I got to know Fred I became aware of the fact that he had another terminal illness. This one was not as easy to put in remission as alcoholism and drug addiction. It was hard to tell for he looked like a healthy athlete.

The group had experienced a shaky beginning with two moves in the first year and a half and now the group was faced with the prospect of closing down for good. Fred, myself and two others were discussing this prospect and Fred was adamant about not letting the group dissolve. He said: “this is where I got sober and if I have to sit in the park with a Big Book I will keep the group going”. He did. We found a  new place and the group is thriving today.

Fred died shortly after his one year anniversary. The last weeks of his life he was never without the companionship of one of the group members. On his anniversary twenty-five members of the group took a meeting to him at the Veterans Hospital in West Palm Beach and presented him with a one year medallion necklace. We all went in shifts to be with him and since I was self employed at the time I got nights. On his last night he and I had a meeting although he was not conscious. I read from the Big Book conducted a meeting gave him an opportunity to share and enjoyed the love and peace of his last hours.

He made it through the night as if he knew that the nurse had called his mother to tell her the end was near. His mother arrived and my friend Amy and I went out for a cigarette. Fred died in his mothers arms. Amy and I came in and removed Fred’s medallion and put it around his mom’s neck.

As I look back on these people, their lessons, and my privilege and honor in being included in their lives, I realize that I have been blessed beyond any possibility of repayment. I only hope that by smiling at the newcomer, extending my hand, and providing an encouraging word to fellow sufferers I can in some small way return these blessings.

I have always felt that to relapse would be like spitting in God’s eye and that not doing his work in this life would be the height of ingratitude. The Preamble tells us that we have two jobs to do. The first is to stay sober and the second is to help other alcoholics achieve sobriety. If I have learned only one thing in this fellowship it is that I cannot accomplish the first job without doing the second one.

I often hear from some old timers that AA has changed, that it isn’t like “the good old days”. I strongly take exception to that notion. Every meeting I go to I see an example of the picture of Bill and Bob with the man on the bed. One drunk helping another is still the bottom line. If I am looking for this, the true spirit of our fellowship, I will always see it. If I am trying to judge, criticize or complain I will miss seeing the miracle that God shows me every day. I can’t allow my arrogance to keep me from the sunlight of the spirit. That person sharing in what I might consider an inappropriate way may be the man who saves my life and gives me one more day. Or he may be, like the stranger that shook my hand and welcomed me to Alcoholics Anonymous, the stranger to some yet unknown newcomer whose single act of human kindness provides the connection to God and a life of sobriety.

So like the guy at the Academy Awards I have the unique opportunity to thank the people who have helped me over the years and in so doing will inevitably forget someone but it would be a waste of a once in a lifetime opportunity not to thank my mom and dad for their patience and support over the years. Also I must thank Frank B., Tommy C., Johno H. and Dave D.  for taking on sponsorship of this exasperating recovering drunk. Thanks to God in all his manifestations. Also all my friends acquaintances and strangers in the rooms of AA.