I was recently privileged to be asked to be part of a new group that was being formed. It could not have come at a better time for I had become somewhat burned out with recent events at my old home group and longed for the old fashioned small church basement home group of my early sobriety. I wished to get back to the basics of group membership and group purpose which has become somewhat obscured these days by the “big business” aspects of clubs, foundations and mega-meeting groups.
At our formative meeting with about 16 interested members we met with the church administrator and the pastor. We were warmly welcomed and given a set of guidelines for the use of their spiritual home. The guidelines were firm, simple, clear and basically outlined for us how to treat their home with respect. We were to be guests in their house after all and this is how we were expected to act. Really the list was simple common sense and courtesy that we would pay any host or hostess.
There is an old New England saying that a good guest always leaves the woodpile a little higher than he finds it. This played itself out for me in real life when a friend offered me the use of his mountain cabin for a week and I offered to pay him. He said, “Just leave the woodpile a little higher”. I instantly knew what he meant and chopped a lot of wood that week.
Hopefully we can be good house guests at the church by thinking of their needs, treating their property as if it were our own and doing a little bit more than expected. In short working our program in this relationship.
At our first business meeting we reaffirmed our personal commitment to establishing a real home group intimacy. We decided to have service commitments including a greeter, coffee maker and chairperson for each meeting. Since we have to set up and break down the room we agreed to get to meetings early and stick around afterwards to clean up and talk to newcomers. We have the steps and the traditions displayed and soon will have the slogans and a “But For The Grace Of God” banner. We are registering our group with the G.S.O., will build a prudent reserve and then donate surplus cash according to the AA Pamphlet “Circles of Love and Service”.
Most importantly we will be committed to our primary purpose and the responsibility Pledge.
Since we have a great deal of experience, strength and hope represented in our membership it was a privilege to be asked to write a short reminder of meeting etiquette to be read before each meeting. After its acceptance by our group conscience the statement reads as follows:
Your Help Is Requested
The ______ Group of Alcoholics Anony-mous wishes to restore traditional meeting etiquette to its meetings. You can help us to achieve this goal by refraining from side conversations, not engaging in cross-talk, and by turning off or leaving cell phones outside the meeting hall. When in doubt about meeting courtesy let the Golden Rule be your guide. Re-member always that love and tolerance is our code.
We need to remember that we should apply the same respect and courtesy and good manners that we use when dealing with the church to our meeting and group. This is, after all, our own spiritual home before, during, and after our meetings. We should always treat the group and its members with respect. We do this by identifying as alcoholics, following meeting formats, sharing our experience strength and hope, putting our hands out to the newcomer and staying in the solution. By so doing we can provide a well stocked spiritual woodpile for the new sick and suffering members for whom we provide the prescription for a truly New Life.
Dave F.